This old Marxist phase does change how you feel when looking for a job. It can be both empowering and demotivating in equal measure or, depending on your position, it can be lopsided.
If you are in a job for a number of years and you want to change, it isn’t so easy. First you have to break through the wall in your mind that you need to be loyal; how it will ‘look’ on your CV; what friends will think and how it will affect your personal life.
Then you start looking. Does the job you want even exist?
You start to find that the grass may not be greener, in fact it might be the same mixed damp faded yellowy green you see under your tent after you have been camping for a week.
After weeks of sending out CVs; being concerned about the wording; trying to be confident but not seem pushy, a team player but also able to work alone; the right amount of ‘happy’ you find a job that fits the bill. It’s not perfect but it fits for the reasons why you want to leave. Does the new job offer anything new? This is where you start trying to predict future problems and try to avoid the feeling you get after buying those jeans you weren’t sure about.
Fuck it. You apply. YOLO right? Oh god what if my boss finds out? Actually good! He might see my worth. But it wouldn’t be the same again…
You were thinking of leaving anyway.
I am not going to sleep tonight. But then I never do. Will I if I move?
I am literally selling myself. Not in the metaphorical self-help sense. Not owning the room. Not looking them in the eye to show them I mean business. No, I’m literally trying to find a place that I feel less ‘taken the piss out of’ and that I don’t feel ashamed to say how much I earn for how much I work.
Go on, sell yourself.